


Wasn't Because I Didn't Care

by snubnosedpantalaimon



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Angst, Gen, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25571488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snubnosedpantalaimon/pseuds/snubnosedpantalaimon
Summary: Marisa Coulter's last night with her daughter for thirteen years.
Relationships: Lyra Belacqua & Marisa Coulter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Wasn't Because I Didn't Care

Lyra would be gone the following day and Marisa Coulter should have been delighted. The source of her shame wouldn't be with her anymore and Marisa had convinced most everyone, even herself almost, that she wasn't interested in the child at all. It came as a surprise to her for that reason then when she felt her own emotions overwhelming her, and she sought comfort from holding her daughter.

"I'm sorry," Marisa murmured, tears slowly starting to roll down her cheek as she leaned to brush her lips against the baby's forehead. They were sat together on a chair in the nursery, both gazing at each other. "It will be better for you this way."

Lyra's little lips moved up in what looked like a gummy smile. Her daemon, Pantalaimon, was curled against her chest and Marisa found herself gazing at him too, with a slight frown. Would she ever see either of them again? Would she know anything about Lyra when she was older, such as what form Pantalaimon had settled as? Would the woman even _want_ to know? She wasn't certain.

That didn't mean, however, that Mrs Coulter and her child couldn't enjoy being with each other for one last time. 

Babies, of course, didn't know of the taboo, and their daemons would often seek the warmth of being close to the baby's parents for comfort. It took Marisa by surprise however when Pantalaimon moved away from Lyra, who was falling asleep in her mother's arms, and climbed up to the woman's shoulder to curl himself against her neck. Her breath hitched in her throat and the golden monkey let out a surprised squeak. The noise drew attention from the baby daemon, who stared for a moment then took the form of an infant golden monkey. 

Holding Lyra to her chest, Marisa pressed her cheek against the top of her daughter's head, continuing to rock her and starting to sob. The golden monkey let out a cry of sympathy, feeling Marisa's pain in himself, and he scooped Pantalaimon in his arms, needing comfort from his child as well.

All four of them stayed like that late into the night, Marisa holding Lyra and the golden monkey holding Pantalaimon long after the babies had fallen asleep. The following day, when the officials came, Mrs Coulter didn't emerge to see Lyra taken.


End file.
